ok, sounds scary doesn't it. I mean all my life so far has been building up to this thing, like it is the biggest most important event of life, but the future seems so broad and distant but yet it could only be tomorrow. You think you know what you've got planned, for me it is school, sixth form, uni and then work in some sort of science job. But you allways get those annoying thoughts in your head don't you "what if I don't mamke it?" and you know what, that scares me so much. I have so many friends that take life as it comes and they don't worry about the future, or at least they pretend not to and I find myself being jealous of them!
But why should we worry? it's not like that if I don't go to uni then the world will end is it? The problem is fear. You see homeless people on the street or you see people drooling away in McDonalds scare you and you think "I don't want to be them". But why not, what made it socially unaceptable tohave a low wage job? who said it was wrong to work in a supermarket all your life. If your happy doing it then why not? Why do i feel this stupid worry about something that could change so easily?
The thing is, we all want to be remembered. Some for being amazing musicians, actors, writers; for just being famous. Some want to be remembered as good parewnts or role models but why? why do we want to be remembered? Is it that we in some way it's our chance to be immortal and cheat death (like the dad in Tim Burtons "Big Fish"). If I wasn't remembered, nothing would happen, the world would't end.
In some was, I thik it would hurt to much to not be remembered. After all, you give your life to the world, you work and do what people do and at then end of it you fade away. So we want to be remembered for purpose. If you had nothing to live for, no reason to do what you do then you would fade away. So in the end; your future and life itself comes down to being remembered and being remembered is the reason why we live.
xxx
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